Phoenix Down

I'm not exactly sure why this blog faded off. But I think i should bring it back, because like my love for Morgan this blog will never die. Shes stuck with me through some rough times, and I need to find a way to prove to her that even though I don't show my love in ways she wants or expects it doesn't mean I love her any less. Part of this is gonna need to be me changing my natural ways and learned habits to show it in ways she expects. But I think a major issue is her not realizing how much of what I do for her isn't natural for me. For starters, I rarely ever reach out to communicate with ANYONE who is not in my immediate vicinity. If we don't cross paths in person, and its not your birthday we probably wont talk unless you talk to me. So when I take the time out of my day to say hello, good morning, good night, how was your day. You are special to me. If I want to share anything that happen, no matter how small or insignificant its because I like talking to you because you make me happy. A simple comparison of how much I talk everyone else in the world to how much I talk to Morgan, (excluding in person due to things like work, and my DM responsibilities) is a staggering 50 to 1 and i'm being conservative. If you make that how often I reach out to talk to people compared to Morgan, I would be surprised if it was lower than 365 to 1.

I understand that the fact that these things are not enough, but a little perspective cant hurt.


Recently She asked me to write her a song, I assumed it was out of jest and sternly made it clear I had no intentions of writing music because I'm not good at putting words together. This upset her and thus it upset me when I discovered she was still sad about the way I responded to her request the next day.

SOOO since I beleive I have about 0 musical talent, I think I will try my hand at poetic freeverse. This is a rough draft, and if it some how comes out anything like a song, she may have her wish but for now. A poem is my goal.


She is the light that shines in the window of my heart.
The rays of her love bring my soul to rise from the depths of sleep
The warmth of her care melts the ice that grew on my heart.
Like a plant, I feed on her near infinite giving, growing by the day.
I have become stronger, rising from the dark depths from which I began
I have began to branch out, my leafs being new interests
Her glow makes me want to stand tall and proud,
to be able to respect myself, to be the man she sees in me.
And like the sun, even though she isnt always around,
I know she is always there to enrich me with her grace

She is my sol,
My life revolves around her
Without her there is only Darkness
Without her there is only Cold
She makes me grow

She brightens my day, her light makes me reach out for it
Soaking in all I can, to become the mighty tree she can make me
Her constant love and care from so high up, how do I deserve this goddess
From the ground I can see her pain, which she burdens alone,
The fires she deals with daily would destroy me in hours.
She makes me wish to grow so Tall and Strong that I,
The same seedling she found and fostered so long ago,
Can one day bear her burdens for her, she shelter her from troubles
The Shade her bare spirit from the harsh light of life she withstands.

She is my Sol,
My Life revolves around her
Without her there is only Darkness
Without her there is only Cold
I will be the one to reach out and touch the Sun
I will bear her fires, Soaking in their light, Growing everyday
I will give my Sol a safe place to lay her head

Surprise Visit

So every bad thing has a good side. Hours were cut for everyone this week and I was lucky enough to get four days off in a row, so I decided to sneak up to Columbus and visit Morgan. Well while I was driving up, with her completely unaware, she must of been in the Halloween Spirit because look at the beautiful gore she caused.

She made herself into a Left 4 Dead Witch, see below for comparison reference in case you've never played.

So I spent the week up here, we went to see a movie, Perks of Being a Wall Flower, it was really good. Chalk full of feels and jazz, she enjoyed it as well. And now sadly I am packing up to go home and back to work. Oh and one more surprise to come fore her, I went out and bought her flowers and put them in the bed and made the bed look like I'm asleep in it so when she gets home from her advising session she will find them :D while I hide elsewhere in the house. Pictures to come C:

These flowers :D  

The Sacrificial Blade

I wonder if she still checks this. Well for any readers who aren't already informed. I have recently(past month) been hired at Publix. For those of you not in the south east of the US that is a upscale grocery store. I am working in the deli, slicing meat and cheese, cooking chicken, and making subs. But sadly the store has policies, sexist as they are, that meant I had to cut my hair. I hadn't had a haircut since 2006. This is where she comes in. She straightened my hair and we threw it in a pony tail and cut off a 13" pony tail. I have it in a bag and I am going to mail it to Pantene Beautiful Lengths.
http://www.pantene.com/en-US/PanteneBeautifulLengths/Pages/default.aspx

And its unbelievable, that wasn't even short enough according to the management. So I took my electric trimmer at my house and just cut the rest off myself and had my dad clean it up.

 But yea, the point of this entry is a few things, for one I want to try to post on here again, not as often as when I started it as a birthday present for her, but not let it just die. In an effort to do that all of the posts wont be solely about  her and I will have to break from the old format. Also my hair that I cared  so much about, when I had to shed it all i let my sol make the cut.

Timey Wimey

 June 13th: Last day before her birthday, we had a nice morning, I made her breakfast. She finished filling out her 'hang man' but I wouldn't let her go to the website yet. We watched the end of Black Panther before she went off to see her friends in Leesburg. I took this time to turn her hang man page into a birthday card. Wellllll I didn't finish it before she got back, because i wasn't expecting her that early. She came in the door as i was finishing cooking dinner for me and my dad and her. We ate and watched AGT and ANW then I finished her birthday card. Pictures Below.  This is gonna be a short one, because well its the last one before she knows about it and I had things to do that weren't on the computer.

Happy Birthday Beautiful XD

Today's reason is Timey Wimey. I choose this because I left her watching Doctor Who Planet of the Dead while I drew a zombified Matt Smith Doctor equipped with Fez and Bowtie. She got me a Doctor shirt a while back, and she has one of her own. Plus its her birthday.

Vigilance

June 12: SHES HERE!!!!!!!!!! Sooooooo today is gonna be a barrage of updates when she isn't paying attention. I went to town and got a bag for her presents and a new chain for my steampunk necklace she got me a while back, the clasp had broke. And I updated the look of the blog, made the background a picture she took and edited a long time ago, wonder if she will notice that before reading it here. I also added a few things like the LOVE banner and the picture of my sol on the side bar.

Dinner time, I am making dinner for me her and my dad, cooking bacon and gonna make grilled cheese with ham/bacon and for her I am going to make a patty melt.

Dinners over, it was delicious and she agreed. I can't wait to see the look on her face when she gets to read this. We are watching TV with my dad, after he goes to bed we will tackle the kitchen and then watch The Emperor's New Groove.

Dad just went to bed and took shadow like every night. Morgan forgot to bring her 'hang man' which is what I call her clue to find this website. I told her the number of characters and let her guess a letter a day, which was actually a one per entry but she doesn't know that, I also gave her extra guesses for sweet things over the course of time since this blog was started. I was planning to use her hangman to make her birthday card. So I making her make a new one using my colored pencils.

We are going to bed now, we watched The Emperor's New Groove and a bit of Black Panther after cleaning the kitchen.

Today's reason is vigilance. It had led her to discover that I was planning on going to Columbus, and that I was on blog spot from a screenshot of my screen with only the tab at the top. Her attention to detail is phenomenal, and I feared it once, back when I wasn't 100% truthful with her. Now I just play with it, to tease her with surprises. It leads her to color code her outfit and look super cute. It causes super cute mannerisms like straightening out the 'ball of bacon' after it cooked and curled.

Dedication

June 11: She got the letter I sent her today, texted me as soon as she got it. I played coy at first until I knew that she had the letter, in order not to give away the surprise if she hadn't. I called her, and she told me the it made her happy, brought her to tears. I guess I did good. I finished my secret project I told ya'll about yesterday. Didn't take pictures, because I couldn't post them today anyway. There is things to come, but what fun would it be if I revealed them now ;). I got her to admit today that she does appreciate all the anticipation, after getting her letter.

Today's reason is Dedication. Since the beginning's of our relationship Morgan has always done the traveling and that has never really changed. Whether it be her going to the Movie theater to meet me, or her coming to my house, or her driving to Atlanta while I was in school, Morgan has done the legwork of this relationship. Her immense dedication to making us work as a unit. If it wasn't for her coming to see me as often as she did we may have fallen apart long ago, we will never know. I would like to think we would have found a way to make it work one way or another but we didn't have to because she is so amazing. I regret that I took that for granted for so long, and that I have yet to do my part to fix the issue of her having to do all the driving. I plan to do my part in the near future, but that will be but a drop in a bucket compared to her oceans worth of effort.  Tomorrow she will be driving down here yet again, I can't wait to see her, I can't wait to put a smile on her face and then kiss it :D

Persistence

June 10th: Today was rather uneventful, I watched ALOT of Mad men, but I built a light box so I can start on my art project for her, and I will begin on my surprise for her that she wont learn about till after her birthday; so I cant share it with any of my current readers, if I have any, because she will know about this blog by her birthday.

Today's reason is Persistence. We fell asleep last night on Skype together, so my alarm clock woke her this morning. My dad woke me a bit after the alarm clock, and when she heard me talking she turned her cam on (we had a connection issue in the middle of the night which killed both cams) and started talking to me. From then on she must have tried to wake me or keep me awake at-least 20 times before I finally got up for good at around 2 pm. I love how she doesn't give up when she wants something, or when its something that's good for me, I wish she was so persistent about things good for her, but hell I guess that's my job.